Domestic Violence Awareness & Action

DATING THAT BECOMES HURTFUL

Far too many teens are hurt in abusive and exploitive relationships, sometimes with life-long consequences.
Here are some signs of an abusive relationship:
1. The abusive partner is very controlling about what their partner does and who they do it with. Abusive partners usually show a lot of jealousy or possessiveness.
2. Abusive partners have short tempers.
3. Abusive partners will often belittle or put down their partners.
4. Abusive relationships don’t start with a black eye on the first date. Abuse is much more subtle. There is a lot of emotional abuse that occurs before the first slap, push or grab.

If teens disclose abuse, believe them. Make sure they know that abuse is not their fault.

If you or someone you know is being abused there are resources that can help.
1. Home Free Women’s and Children’s Shelter-
3405 East Medicine Lake Boulevard, Plymouth – 763-559-9008

2. Cornerstone-7051 Brooklyn Boulevard, Brooklyn Center – 952-884-0376

3. National Hot Line- 1-800-799-7233

Please join the Domestic Violence Awareness and Action Group here at St. Joe’s. For more information contact Jane Warren at 763-494-5528 or Susan Rivard at 612-247-4428. Our next meetings are on February 5 and March 12. We meet from 7:00-8:30 in St. Benedict Library
 

COMMON MYTHS ABOUT DOMESTIC ABUSE
Domestic abuse is not caused by mental illness. Personality disorders, poor impulse control or a mental illness diagnosis do not cause DV. When a particular mental illness causes a person to become violent, the violence is not usually specifically targeted at one person. When DV happens, it is targeted at a specific victim.
Domestic abuse is not caused by genetics. Someone’s DNA or a genetic abnormality does not “make” someone abuse another person.

Domestic abuse is not caused by alcohol and drugs. Perpetrators, and many battered women, sometimes blame domestic abuse on alcohol and drugs. While these chemicals can exacerbate the abuse that occurs, they do not cause it. Addiction and abuse require two different kinds of intervention.

Domestic abuse is not caused by out-of-control behavior. Abusive behavior is an abuser’s conscious choice, a choice that is made to reach a goal: power and control over the victim.

Domestic abuse is not caused by anger. We all get angry from time to time, but perpetrators of abuse use anger to assert power and maintain control. They direct their anger at one person (the victim) at a time and place of their choosing, and they are often quite calm and “reasonable” when explaining the incident to law enforcement.

Domestic abuse is not caused by victim behavior. Batterers strongly defend their abuse by denying, minimizing, justifying and rationalizing their behavior, often saying they wouldn’t be abusive if the victim behaved differently. Nothing a victim does causes another person to be violent; violence and abuse are a choice of the abuser.

If you want to help fight DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard at 612-247-4428 or susanrivard5873@gmail.com) or Jane Warren  at 763-494-5528 for more information.

DVAA’S MISSION AND VISION STATEMENT

Domestic Violence Awareness and Action’s mission is to work within faith communities and the community at large to raise awareness about and promote zero tolerance for domestic abuse.

To fulfill this mission, DVAA’s actions are: · To educate about domestic abuse, including dating abuse · To support domestic abuse programs in the community · To organize community events honoring victims and survivors of abuse · To mentor domestic abuse ministries in faith communities · To transform environments of faith communities, so worship spaces send a message of support and safety for victims of abuse.

DVAA’s vision is healthy relationships and peaceful, safe environments in our homes, churches, and communities.

If you want to help break the around silence DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard (612.247.4428 or susanrivard5873@gmail.com) or Jane Warren (763.494.5528 or janewarren1@gmail.com) for more information.
 

SEE THE PURPLE, KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and purple is the signatory hue.

Why purple? In the United States military, the Purple Heart is presented to those who have been wounded while serving. For survivors of domestic violence, who may also be wounded both physically and emotionally, the color is meant to be a symbol of peace, courage, survival, honor and dedication to ending violence.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month was first observed in 1981 as a national day of unity. It was established by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence to ensure that victims know help is available if they need it. So when you see purple in October, it is more than just a color. It is a statement.
 

ABUSE HELP LINES
Home Free Shelter, Crisis Line 763.559.4945
DAY ONE MN DV Crisis Line 866.223.1111 (answered by different shelters each week)
National DV Hot Line 800.799.SAFE/7233 (have information for all states)
National Dating Abuse Help Line 866.331.9474 (website: loveisrespect.org)
Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women 888.743.5754 or 888.7HELPLINE, or www.dahmw.org
 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RISK ASSESSMENT GUIDE
The presence of the following factors can indicate an elevated risk of serious injury or lethality in an abusive relationship. The absence of these factors is not, however, evidence of the absence of risk or lethality. It is impossible to predict with certainty which batterers will become lethal to their victims, and all batterers should be viewed as potentially deadly. These factors, however, raise red flags that should not be ignored. 
1. Does the victim believe that the abuser will re-assault or attempt to kill her/him?
2. Has the victim tried to leave the abuser?
3. Has the abuser ever threatened to or tried to kill the victim?
4. Has the abuser ever attempted to strangle or choke the victim?
5. Does the abuser have access to a firearm, or is there a firearm in the home?
6. Has the abuser ever used or threatened to use a weapon against the victim?
7. Has the physical violence increased in frequency or severity over the past year?
8. Does the abuser try to control most or all of the victim’s daily activities?
9. Is the abuser constantly or violently jealous?
10. Has the abuser ever threatened or tried to commit suicide?
11. Are there any pending or prior Orders for Protection, criminal or civil cases involving the abuser? 

Always listen to the victim: If she/he feels “in their gut” that the situation is dangerous, contact a battered women’s shelter. In our area, that would be Home Free Shelter (crisis line 763.559.4945), or Cornerstone (crisis line 952.884.0330), or DAY ONE (crisis line 866.223.1111). All crisis lines are open 24/7.
 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: WARNING SIGNS OF ABUSE IN OTHERS 
People who are being abused may
• Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner
• Go along with everything their partner says and does
• Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing
• Receive frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner
• Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy, or possessiveness

People who are being physically abused may
• Have frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents”
• Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation
• Dress in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (e.g. wearing long sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors)

People who are being isolated by their abuser may
• Be restricted from seeing family and friends
• Rarely go out in public without their partner
• Have limited access to money, credit cards or the car 

People who are being abused may
• Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident
• Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn)
• Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal

If you want to help break the around silence DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard (612.247.4428) or Jane Warren (763.494.5528 or janewarren1@gmail.com) for more information. 

ANYONE Can Be A Victim of Domestic Violence
Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence. There is no “typical” victim, victims of DV come from all walks of life, all age groups, all backgrounds, all communities, all education levels, all economic levels, all cultures, all ethnicities, all religions, all abilities, and all lifestyles. They can be men or women. Victims of domestic violence do not bring violence upon themselves and do not always lack self- confidence. Throw away the stereotypes and recognize the frightening reality that domestic violence is everywhere and can affect anyone. Violence in relationships occurs when one person feels entitled to exert power and control over their partner and chooses to use physical or verbal abuse to gain and maintain that control. If you want to help fight DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard at 612-247-4428 or Jane Warren at 763-494-5528 for more information.
 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOMICIDES IN MINNESOTA
In 2017, 19 Minnesota women died from domestic violence homicides. It has been observed that women often confide in the people in their lives and the systems they interact with about the abuse they are experiencing. Minnesota women murdered in 2017 confided in family members, friends, and colleagues about the abuse and their attempts to leave. They shared information with criminal justice system professionals, health care providers, family court, employers and government agencies. As a community, we must educate ourselves about existing resources for victims such as voluntary and confidential services through domestic violence programs that can safely plan and assist victims. + If you want to help fight DV, please join the Domestic Violence Awareness and action Group here at St. Joe’s. We educate and take actions to move toward zero tolerance for domestic abuse. 

If you want to help fight DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard (612.247.4428 or susanrivard5873@gmail.com) or Jane Warren (763.494.5528 or janewarren1@gmail.com) for more information. + From Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women 2017 Femicide Report.

Vigil at Plymouth intersection honors domestic abuse victim