Domestic Violence Awareness & Action

These apps can record calls and fights, recognize an abuser and dial 911 on your behalf

A survey by DomesticShelters.org indicated that one third of survivors say they never documented abuse. Many survivors can’t admit that their once-loving partner has become abusive. Others know they are being abused but don’t think to keep a log of incidents, especially if the abuse is nonphysical. But when it is time to leave the abuser, secure a permanent order of protection and potentially fight for custody rights, any evidence the survivor can bring to court is only going to bolster his or her case.

Victims often have a tough time being believed. They are often accused of suffering the after-effects of abuse — things like cognitive impairment, memory problems and paranoia — which can call their testimony can into question. If it comes down to he said-she said, the victim can lose.

Below is an updated list of recommended apps which can help survivors record abuse as evidence and even identify abuse so they can get out before evidence is ever needed.

To Record Sounds in the Room: Rev Voice Recorder and Memos
A recording of an abuser’s threats, intimidation or control, or the sounds of physical abuse occurring — as scary as that concept is — can be an instrumental piece of evidence in court. This app allows you to record the sounds around you even with other apps open or when the phone goes to sleep, so you could essentially hide the fact you’re recording.

Pros: Syncs to your Dropbox to back-up your recordings, in case the abuser deletes the recording or damages your phone.

Cons: Only works with iPhone and iPad. Does not record phone calls — for that, you’ll want the Rev Call Recorder.

Rating: 4+
 

To Record a Phone Call: Tape ACall Pro
Because threats and protection order violations often take place over the phone, it’s worthwhile to record phone conversations with an abuser. TapeACall allows you to record calls without an indication to the third party they’re being recorded. The app lets you download recordings to your computer as soon as you end a call. Labeling allows you to categorize recordings for easy access later.

Pros: You can record both incoming and outgoing calls.

Cons: The Pro version is $29.99 a year. Only available on iPhones. Three-way calling needs to be supported in order to use, but adding the third call is virtually undetectable once the other person is on the line.

Rating: 4+
 

To Keep a Log of Abusive Incidents: VictimsVoice PWA
Documenting abuse can show a pattern of power, control and intimidation. But how do you keep an abuser from finding your notes? As a “PWA”, or progressive web app, your use of this tool isn’t tracked like your typical Internet use is and therefore is less likely to be detected by an abusive partner. Each time you log in, you use an activation code. It can be accessed from any computer, anywhere.

Pros: Helps you create legally admissible chronological records to submit in court.

Cons: A little pricey at $39.95, but the information is kept safe indefinitely, even if you stop using the app and need to come back to it years later.

To Back You Up in Dangerous Situations: Noonlight You’re in an iffy situation—you’re meeting someone new or you’re with a current partner and don’t feel safe. Maybe you’re just walking into an unknown situation or heading home at night by yourself. Simply hold down the button in the Noonlight app and release when you are safe. If you let go and don’t enter your pin, 911 will be called and sent to your location.

Pros: You can text with responders if you’re unable to talk. Your location is updated even if you begin moving or get into a car. Can sync with Apple watch to send help immediately with the touch of a button. Also voice-activated through an Alexa (may be useful if children are in the house and in potential danger). Free to use panic button feature; $4.99 to $9.99 a month for additional features.

Cons: None that we could tell.

Rating: 4+
 

To Help Recognize an Abuser: RUSafe App
This free assessment and journaling app, based on a danger assessment tool, helps individuals decide if they’re possibly in a dangerous situation with a potential abuser.

Pros: Free to download, works with iPhone and Android phones, includes a secure journal feature where text, audio and photos can be uploaded and emailed to yourself.

Cons: Icon denotes app’s purpose – may be easier to spot by an abuser who’s spying on a survivor’s phone.

Rating: 4+

Check This One Out, Too The myPlan app, which is discreet and password-protected, helps you identify if the actions of your partner fall into the abusive category. After answering a few questions, you’ll receive a score on a scale from Variable Danger to Extreme Danger and be given information about who to call for further advice and counseling.

(This material was adapted from an article in DomesticShelters.org, an online newsletter with domestic violence resources and information.)

If you want to work toward ending domestic violence please join our group, Domestic Violence Awareness and Action.  We normally meet at St. Joseph the Worker Catholic Church in Maple Grove, but are an ecumenical group with members from many different places.   We are meeting using Microsoft Meeting on the first Tuesday of every month during the pandemic.  If you’d like to join us contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com. 

Police Officers Who Respond to Domestic Calls Are Impacted, Too

“Domestic” police calls are some of the most dangerous situations for officers. Up to 10% of such calls result in assaults on the responding officers. The likelihood of an officer assault is greatest when the batterer is unemployed, intoxicated, resides with the DV victim, has just damaged property and/or displays a hostile demeanor when officers arrive. An assault on officers is least likely (but not impossible) when all of these elements are absent.

If an assault on officers does occur, officers involved have a 50 % chance of sustaining an injury requiring medical treatment. If the domestic assault involves a firearm, officer injury is most likely to occur as the officers first approach the scene or shortly after their arrival. The assailant is likely to be laying in ambush inside or outside the residence, utilize a long gun (rifle or shotgun), and open fire from many feet away. Officers have a 50/50 chance of being hit by the abuser’s gunfire but are most likely to survive the encounter if they wear body armor, maintain distance from the shooter, utilize cover and concealment, and return controlled, accurate fire. (Richard R. Johnson, PHD, Dolan Consulting Group)

Domestic abuse has many victims, not just the woman/man being beaten and assaulted. The professionals who intervene to stop the assault, family members and the community at large are  all victimized by abuse. 

If you want to help fight DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard (612.247.4428 or  susanrivard5873@gmail.com)
 

Effects of Domestic Violence on Children Through Adulthood

More than 15 million children in the U.S. live in a home where domestic violence has happened at least once. They are at greater risk for repeating the cycle as adults by entering into abusive relationships or becoming abusers themselves

Children who witness domestic violence or are victims of abuse themselves are at serious risk for long term physical and mental health problems. They may also be at greater risk of being violent in their future relationships.

Children who witness abuse are at higher risk of health problems as adults including depression and anxiety. They are also at risk for diabetes, heart disease and poor self- esteem.

Children in homes where one parent is abused may feel fearful, anxious and be on guard at all times. Preschool children may react by doing things they did when younger like bed-wetting, thumb sucking and increased crying and whining.

School aged children may not participate in school activities, have fewer friends and get in trouble more often. They may have a lot of headaches and stomachaches.

Teenagers may act out in negative ways such as fighting with family members or skipping school. They engage in risky behaviors such as having unprotected sex and using drugs and alcohol. They have low self- esteem, have trouble making friends and may start fighting and bullying others and are more likely to be in trouble with the law.

Can children recover from witnessing or experiencing domestic violence? Every child responds differently. Success depends on a good support system, good relationships with trusted adults, high self- esteem and healthy friendships. The sooner a child gets help the better their chances are for becoming a mentally and physically healthy adult.

If you want to help fight DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard (612.247.4428 or susanrivard5873@gmail.com) or Jane Warren (763.494.5528 or janewarren1@gmail.com) for more information.



MEET REBECCA

It was, in retrospect, a sign, Rebecca thinks now. Rebecca was born a month late, and even then, her mother had to be induced before Rebecca was born. Now, 40 years later, she says wryly that she thinks she knew, even in the womb, that her home after birth would be everything that the womb was not: full of pain, fear and hate.

Rebecca and her mother were allies in a home where her abusive and controlling father flew into rages, threw things, beat them up, threatened them with guns and knives, isolated them, controlled the money. But almost worse, in a way, was the verbal abuse: Rebecca’s father told her, over and over, that she was worthless, stupid, unlovable and weak.

No child can thrive in a world like that. Rebecca lost her hair and never spoke in school. Her goal? To be invisible – a lesson learned at home, where she was safest out of her father’s line of sight.

When the emotions Rebecca was not allowed to express built up to a boiling point, she turned to self-harm to get them out. She used a lighter to burn the skin on her arms, and what she remembers is not the physical pain but the immense feeling of release – like a tea kettle blowing steam out of its spout to keep from exploding.

As an adult, Rebecca was diagnosed with severe PTSD. As an adult, she still has blocked most of her traumatic childhood memories, although the feelings are vividly there. As an adult, she and her mother escaped from their abuser, and years later they are still healing, but healing together. Their history of abuse has affected their physical and mental health, their relationships with others, their trust.

They are survivors with a shared horrific past but also, now, with a future that has hope, laughter and freedom. Rebecca knows that future is a gift from God.

See more Survivor Stories below.

Police Officers Who Respond to Domestic Calls Are Impacted, Too

“Domestic” police calls are some of the most dangerous situations for officers. Up to 10% of such calls result in assaults on the responding officers. The likelihood of an officer assault is greatest when the batterer is unemployed, intoxicated, resides with the DV victim, has just damaged property and/or displays a hostile demeanor when officers arrive. An assault on officers is least likely (but not impossible) when all of these elements are absent. https://www.sjtw.net/domestic-violence

If an assault on officers does occur, officers involved have a 50 % chance of sustaining an injury requiring medical treatment. If the domestic assault involves a firearm, officer injury is most likely to occur as the officers first approach the scene or shortly after their arrival. The assailant is likely to be laying in ambush inside or outside the residence, utilize a long gun (rifle or shotgun), and open fire from many feet away. Officers have a 50/50 chance of being hit by the abuser’s gunfire but are most likely to survive the encounter if they wear body armor, maintain distance from the shooter, utilize cover and concealment, and return controlled, accurate fire. (Richard R. Johnson, PHD, Dolan Consulting Group)

Domestic abuse has many victims, not just the woman/man being beaten and assaulted. The professionals who intervene to stop the assault, family members and the community at large are  all victimized by abuse. 

If you want to help fight DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard (612.247.4428 or  susanrivard5873@gmail.com) or Jane Warren (763.494.5528 or  janewarren1@gmail.com) for more information.

REGISTERING TO VOTE CAN PUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVORS AT RISK

In order to vote survivors need to make their address publicly available.  For a domestic violence survivor living off the grid that is simply not an option.
There is no national policy to address this problem.  Many survivors feel this disenfranchisement is their only option.
That is the decision domestic violence survivors face throughout the United States.  With voter information tied to home address many feel participating in an election could put them at risk. 
One Minnesota survivor found a way to vote through a program called Safe at Home, that she uses to get her mail and keep her address confidential.  Here in our state any registered voter may request a copy of the voter list.  At Safe Harbor a victim’s address is confidential.  Not even police have access.  Without Safe Harbor many women wouldn’t be able to vote.
This information is taken from an excellent article in the Washington Post.  You can find the entire article at:
https:www.thelily.com/registering-to-vote-can-put-domestic-violence-survivors-at-risk.
If you would like learn more about how to educate about domestic violence and take action to help victims and survivors please consider joining the Domestic Violence Awareness and Action Group here at St. Joe’s.  During the pandemic we are meeting remotely. Our next meeting will be on November 10th at 7:00-8:30 PM.  Please contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com or Sue Rivard at susanrivard5873@gmail.com to join us or if you’d like more information.




MEET REBECCA

It was, in retrospect, a sign, Rebecca thinks now. Rebecca was born a month late, and even then, her mother had to be induced before Rebecca was born. Now, 40 years later, she says wryly that she thinks she knew, even in the womb, that her home after birth would be everything that the womb was not: full of pain, fear and hate.

Rebecca and her mother were allies in a home where her abusive and controlling father flew into rages, threw things, beat them up, threatened them with guns and knives, isolated them, controlled the money. But almost worse, in a way, was the verbal abuse: Rebecca’s father told her, over and over, that she was worthless, stupid, unlovable and weak.

No child can thrive in a world like that. Rebecca lost her hair and never spoke in school. Her goal? To be invisible – a lesson learned at home, where she was safest out of her father’s line of sight.

When the emotions Rebecca was not allowed to express built up to a boiling point, she turned to self-harm to get them out. She used a lighter to burn the skin on her arms, and what she remembers is not the physical pain but the immense feeling of release – like a tea kettle blowing steam out of its spout to keep from exploding.

As an adult, Rebecca was diagnosed with severe PTSD. As an adult, she still has blocked most of her traumatic childhood memories, although the feelings are vividly there. As an adult, she and her mother escaped from their abuser, and years later they are still healing, but healing together. Their history of abuse has affected their physical and mental health, their relationships with others, their trust.

They are survivors with a shared horrific past but also, now, with a future that has hope, laughter and freedom. Rebecca knows that future is a gift from God.

MEET JANICE

Janice is an elementary school teacher and an army reserve soldier. She could be your child’s teacher, and you would never suspect she was anything but a typical engaged, caring, motivated teacher.

But her story is anything but typical. Janice was married to an abusive man who tried to control her in every way and thought he “owned” her – he said they would never get divorced, and if he couldn’t have her, no one else could. When they separated and Janice’s husband was served with divorce papers, he went looking for her. When he found her, she was stopped at a stop sign in her small car, and her husband, driving a Jeep, sped up and rammed her car into a pipe fence. Then he got out with a gun, intending to kill her. Fortunately, someone stopped him, and Janice survived.

If you asked Janice now how she is doing, she would say her life is good. She is re-married to a loving, caring man who treats her with kindness and respect. Her two sons, now grown and with their own families, have blessed her with three amazing grandchildren. She would say, I am thriving! She would say, life is amazing! She would say, each day I try to love and live as if it is my last.

Janice is proof there is hope after abuse.

MEET GLORIA

It was December 23, and Gloria was in a women’s shelter with just a change of clothes and the spare key she had hidden. She thought about how she had gotten there and the story of her abuse that was abuse and so much more.  

She was friends with her husband for 18 years before their marriage and then married for 15 years. Wasn’t that long enough to know someone? To people on the outside, they were a “beautiful couple.” He was well-connected, successful, well-liked. They had just built their dream house. The inside of the marriage, however, was a different story. He was emotionally and mentally abusive. He controlled everything. He isolated Gloria from friends and family so she was completely dependent on him. After she was forced to retire early because of a disability, it was easier for him to have complete control.  

And while Gloria’s husband was doing this, he added a macabe twist: He was stealing her identity, robbing her of her inheritance, and creating financial and legal woes that would, once a judge helped her discover what he had done, take years to undo. The trauma of such an ultimate betrayal, coupled with the years of abuse, changed her in ways both visible and invisible. 

Gloria left her husband more than once before finally leaving for good. Ultimately, she got an order for protection, went into therapy and began to re-build her credit, reputation and life. She still deals with post-traumatic stress, she still can shake and cry when thinking about those dark years, but she has proven a key thing to herself: She will survive. 

MEET GINNY

If you asked Ginny today how she is doing, she would say she is truly loved and living her best life as a daughter of God.

These are beautiful words for us to hear, sitting in church ready to start celebrating a mass. But to truly appreciate those words, you need to know what Ginny went through to get there.

Ginny had a successful career in the US Air Force, a woman making her way in a traditionally man’s world. Her career, however, fell apart after her marriage to an abusive man. Her husband was physically and emotionally abusive, controlled the money to keep her from leaving, and threw her out of a moving car. She knew then her life was in danger, and after the next attack he was arrested and Ginny got a permanent restraining order.

That restraining order may have saved her life, but it cost her her career. Ginny’s superior officers decided that her marriage to an abusive man “proved” that she was unable to make sound decisions and took away her security clearance, which effectively dead-ended her military career. She had chosen her life, but the cost was her career.

Ginny felt like she had lost everything: her marriage, her career, her shiny future. She felt hopeless and became suicidal – until she found a relationship with God. Through her faith and her new feelings of self-worth, she found hope again and began to heal, inside and out.


For someone living in a violent or emotionally abusive situation, it can seem like there is no escaping the anxiety, pain and tension. Even after a survivor has left her abuser, the after-effects of trauma can linger for years, even decades. Common responses to trauma include hypervigilance (constantly feeling on edge), flashbacks, sleep issues/nightmares, memory difficulties, depression and anxiety.    

Not everyone has the means or ability to see a therapist to work through their trauma and the triggers that follow. Fortunately, there are some at-home methods that can be utilized to aid in the healing process, whether the individual has left the abusive relationship or is still living with it.  

(Of course, even better is combining that self-care with help from an expert. If you can’t afford therapy, there may be some free or low-cost options near you. And if you have the means to afford a therapist, but don’t feel comfortable going to them, they can come to you, via your phone or computer through online therapy.)  

If a survivor can’t work with a therapist, though, there are some at-home methods that can be utilized to aid in the healing process.  

Here are five at-home healing techniques that may help a survivor feel more centered, less anxious and more able to deal with the trauma of abuse.    

1. Practicing meditation or mindfulness. 
This can simply mean sitting still (you don’t have to cross your legs, just sit on a comfy chair or lay down in bed), clearing your mind and breathing deeply for 10 minutes every morning. What you’re doing is practicing quieting your often racing and anxious thoughts. It may help to repeat a mantra, which can shift you into a positive mindset for the day ahead.  

2. Exercise — even a little bit.
 While living with abuse, and after escaping abuse, many individuals feel depressed, which brings with it fatigue and zero desire to get out of bed, much less go to the gym. But even moving for 20 minutes a day can produce visible benefits, such as boosting your mood and energy level.  

3. Massage
Massage  has  been prove n to help with the effects of PTSD by reducing the cortisol levels in the body, which can reduce that feeling of hypervigilance that makes you feel like danger is around every corner. But getting professional massages aren’t a realistic option for everyone. Luckily, you can reap the benefits of massage by doing it yourself at home, just by massaging your hands, feet, or above your eyes to relieve tension.  

4. Harness the healing power of your favorite movie.
 If working out isn’t your jam, self-care can also look like putting your feet up in front of the TV. (There's no hard and fast rule about what self-care means.) It can simply be taking a couple of hours to watch a favorite movie or TV show and focusing on relaxing. If your favorite film or show is a comedy, even better; laughing can relax your muscles and stimulate circulation, which can help reduce the physical symptoms of stress in your body. 

5. Helping others. 
True, this may require leaving home, but it is free. Doing something to help others is a way to begin your own healing. Volunteering at a soup kitchen, walking dogs at a local shelter or practicing small, random acts of kindness are all great examples of things to do to give back.  

Self-care has gained notable momentum in the wellness community. We know now that we “cannot pour from an empty cup.” However, there are myths about self-care that hold us back from a realistic understanding of what an active and consistent self-care practice looks and feels like.  

Below are five self-care myths that you should start letting go of today.  

Myth 1: Self-Care is Selfish 
Selfishness entails taking from others without reciprocity, thoughtlessness, inconsideration and a lack of empathy. Self-care involves setting limits with our time, people and places (aka, setting boundaries). We are able to spend time alone and make space for self-reflection with respect to our feelings, relationships and behaviors. 

The reality is that we cannot be present for others or ourselves when we don’t take care of our mental, physical and spiritual well-being. To reframe, self-care is really not 100% about you. It is about being able to attend to your needs so you can show up in the best way possible for others.  

 
Myth 2: Self-Care is Grandiose 
Large self-care gestures are important, but they aren’t inclusive of all the other critical aspects of self-care. Self-care on a moment-to-moment, hour-to-hour and day-by-day basis is what needs our attention the most. This includes grace, pace and space. Grace is the way you speak to yourself in your head. Pace is the tempo that you go about your day. Space is what you make room for in your life and heart.  


Myth 3: Self-Care is Secondary or Optional 
If you don’t budget for self-care, it will make time for you in the form of illness and stress. If you have a super busy day that is filled with tasks and stressors that are all priorities, self-care should not be neglected – instead, that means that self-care needs to be on the top of that priority list and not an afterthought. Goal-seeking is a form of self-care, but when it is at the cost of your mental and physical wellbeing, then we have a problem; then, we are supporting the lie that self-care needs to be “earned.” Taking care of yourself is your birthright. You do not need to earn it. 


Myth 4: Self-Care is Anything that Relaxes You 
This is the myth that surprises a lot of people. Yes, many forms of self-care are relaxing and help regulate the nervous system. When we are stressed, our nervous system is on FIRE, so calming strategies are like water for that fire. However, sometimes calming strategies fan the flame in the form of procrastination.  

The reality is that self-care can be really challenging, and the best way we can take care of ourselves can be described in two words: yes and no. Yes is the willingness to care for yourself by agreeing to things that safely push you outside of your comfort zone and promote growth, like signing up for a 5k, or being more open and honest in your relationships, or setting and honoring boundaries with people, places and things. This includes limiting social media and contact with people that drain you and disengaging from things that drain your energy and do not reciprocate. Self-care can and should be challenging at times.  

Myth 5: Self-Care Takes a Lot of Time 
Notice your breath at this moment while you are reading this article. Just notice, without changing it. Notice where you feel tension in your body and send the breath to that area. Start to elongate the breath and repeat ten times. Feel the tension start to shift. Feel your heart rate start to slow down and your body feel more centered.  

What you just did was an act of self-care! When we take deep breaths, we are giving our nervous systems a big, self-care hug. Breath-work doesn’t take a ton of time and can be done anywhere, anytime.  

Over 70% of women in domestic violence shelters report their abusers threatened, maimed, injured or killed a family pet for revenge or to psychologically control their victims.

The Purple Leash Project was born out of the Purina and Red Rover mission to bring and keep pets and people together. The Red Rover mission is to bring animals and their owners from crisis to care.

The purple leash symbol, a purple leash with “Walk. Heal. Together” on it is a visible symbol of an invisible struggle for domestic abuse victims and their pets. Purple represents domestic violence awareness and the leash symbolizes the unbreakable bond between pets and their owners.

The project began 7 years ago when a Purina associate read about the difficult decision that many domestic violence survivors with pets were being forced to make. It didn’t seem fair that pets, who may be the only source of unconditional love and support for a victim, weren’t being considered when it came to sheltering survivors. Nearly 50% of victims choose to stay in abusive situations rather than leave their pet.

The Purple Leash Project helped found the PAWS Act coalition in support of the pets and women safety (PAWS) act which helps domestic abuse victims and their pets by advocating for federal resources dedicated to this cause. The goal is for 25% of U.S. domestic violence shelters to become pet friendly by the end of 2025. The long- term goal is to change the landscape of domestic violence services for survivors with pets.

To find a pet friendly domestic violence shelter near you visit Safe Places for Pets. Currently there are 9 shelters in MN with 5 in the metro area.

Go to PurpleLeashProject.com for more information and to donate. Take the lead get a leash.

You are not alone. Domestic violence is never okay.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7. For any victims and survivors who need support, call 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 for TTY

If you’re unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 22522.

Locally contact the Home Free Community Program hotline (24/7) at 763-559-4945. The Home Free Community Program serves women and men who have been victims of domestic assault in the cities of Plymouth, New Hope, Champlain and eleven municipalities in northwest Hennepin County.

Please join the Domestic Violence Awareness Action group. You can make a difference by being educated about domestic violence and by taking actions to work toward zero tolerance for domestic abuse. Please contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com or 763.494.5528 or Susan Rivard at susanrivard5873@gmail.com or 612.247.4428.

If you asked Ginny today how she is doing, she would say she is truly loved and living her best life as a daughter of God.

These are beautiful words for us to hear, sitting in church ready to start celebrating a mass. But to truly appreciate those words, you need to know what Ginny went through to get there.

Ginny had a successful career in the US Air Force, a woman making her way in a traditionally man’s world. Her career, however, fell apart after her marriage to an abusive man. Her husband was physically and emotionally abusive, controlled the money to keep her from leaving, and threw her out of a moving car. She knew then her life was in danger, and after the next attack he was arrested and Ginny got a permanent restraining order.

That restraining order may have saved her life, but it cost her her career. Ginny’s superior officers decided that her marriage to an abusive man “proved” that she was unable to make sound decisions and took away her security clearance, which effectively dead-ended her military career. She had chosen her life, but the cost was her career.

Ginny felt like she had lost everything: her marriage, her career, her shiny future. She felt hopeless and became suicidal – until she found a relationship with God. Through her faith and her new feelings of self-worth, she found hope again and began to heal, inside and out.

Help is still available – through shelters, hotlines, therapists and counselors.  These are available by phone and on line.   

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7. For any victims and survivors who need support, call 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 for TTY 

If you’re unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 22522. 

Locally contact the Home Free Community Program hotline (24/7) at 763-559-4945. The  Home Free Community Program serves women and men who have been victims of domestic assault in the cities of Plymouth, New Hope, Champlain and eleven municipalities in northwest Hennepin County.

WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP FIGHT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Everyone thinks this is a police issue or social service, but it actually involves all of us. Domestic Violence occurs across the spectrum of society. It is not just something that happens in the ghetto.
One of the first things we can all do is PRAY for the victims of DV and their dependents. The majority of cases involve women both the educated and the poorly educated and their children but there are some cases of women abusing their male partner. Five percent of abuse victims are men.
Domestic violence happens to those with minimal education and those with a PHD, the blue collar and white collar family, wealthy and those struggling financially. We need to be aware that it can happen to someone in our family, a neighbor or a friend.
Being aware of the signs of problem behavior is needed . Some of the red flags are reclusiveness of one partner, with minimal means of communication with friends or family such as no cell phone or vehicle. Or the victim always has to check in with his/her partner and is on a tight schedule to get home. The victim will often make excuses for not coming to family affairs or having to leave early. Frequent changes of address should be another alerting sign
Of course there ARE the usual bruises but many times the emotional abuse is not openly apparent. Personality changes such as going from happy to worried demeanor of the victim should spark suspicion.
If you do suspect someone is in an abusive situation never force assistance but rather try to let the victim know you are there if they need anything. If possible give them emergency contact information such as safe shelters. Do not be obvious or the victim may suffer after talking to you.
Keep yourself informed on domestic violence and know that it is a problem in every country not just the improvished and be available if someone seeks your advice.
The best way to get fast help is always to remember 911.
Home Free in Plymouth is the closest shelter to our area and the phone number there is 763 545 7080.
The DVAA (Domestic Violence Awareness and Action) group are very active at St Joseph the Worker. We are trying to get the community informed and work with local police and community leaders to get this information out to the public.
Please join DVAA. We meet the first Tuesday of every month at 7:00 PM in the library. If you have questions please contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com or Susan Rivard at susanrivard5873@gmail.com.
 

When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence Against Women

When I Call for Help, originally written in 1992 and revised in 2002, is a firm statement by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) that violence in any shape or form is directly against the Church’s teaching of honoring the dignity of every human person, which is a bedrock principle of Catholic Social Teaching. Within this brief response by the bishops is one particularly important statement for every person to consider, “religion can be either a resource or a roadblock for abused women.” Take a moment today and consider how you as a person of faith might be a resource to someone who is in an abusive relationship.

St. Joseph the Worker has an active group, Domestic Violence Awareness and Action (DVAA) that strives to be this kind of resource to our local community. If you are passionate about raising awareness for domestic violence and advocating for safe and healthy relationships, please consider joining this group at one of their meetings. For more information, contact alex@SJTW.net

When I Call for Help is available for free on the USCCB website, but in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, SJTW will order a physical copy of the document in pamphlet form on your behalf. Please contact Director of Social Justice, Alex Blechle, at alex@SJTW.net if you would like one.

Help lines for those being abused

Home Free Shelter, Crisis Line 763-559-4945
www.missionsinc.org/programs/home-free

DAY ONE MN DV Crisis Line Call 866-223-1111
or text 612.399.9995. www.dayoneservices.org

Answered by the shelter that is closest to the caller.

National DV Hot Line Call 800-799-SAFE/7233
or go to www.thehotline.org to chat with a trained Crisis Counselor.
Information for all states. Open 24/7 every day, this is a resource for safety information and can connect any caller with shelters and protection advocates in her area.

National Dating Abuse Help Line 866-331-9474 
website: loveisrespect.org

Violence is words and actions that hurt people. Violence is the abusive or unjust exercise of power, intimidation, harassment and/or the threatened or actual use of force which results in or has a high likelihood of causing hurt, fear, injury, suffering or death.
Are you in an abusive relationship? You may be if you have ever been threatened, kicked, shoved or had things thrown at you. You may be if you feel you have no choice about what you wear, what you say, or who you spend time with or where you go. You may be if you need your partner’s permission before buying food or clothing, writing checks or making other daily decisions.
Domestic Violence is always wrong!! This is not a women’s issue. This is not a feminist issue. This is an individual human rights AND moral issue.
If you would like to be a part of the Domestic Violence Awareness and Action Group here at St. Joe's, we meet on the first Tuesday of every month in the SJTW library from 7:00-8:30. We educate and take actions to move toward zero tolerance for domestic abuse. Contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com or 763.494.5528 or Susan Rivard at susanrivard5873@gmail.com or 612.247.4428.

ANYONE Can Be A Victim of Domestic Violence
Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence. There is no “typical” victim, victims of DV come from all walks of life, all age groups, all backgrounds, all communities, all education levels, all economic levels, all cultures, all ethnicities, all religions, all abilities, and all lifestyles. They can be men or women. Victims of domestic violence do not bring violence upon themselves and do not always lack self- confidence. Throw away the stereotypes and recognize the frightening reality that domestic violence is everywhere and can affect anyone. Violence in relationships occurs when one person feels entitled to exert power and control over their partner and chooses to use physical or verbal abuse to gain and maintain that control.
 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOMICIDES IN MINNESOTA
In 2017, 19 Minnesota women died from domestic violence homicides. It has been observed that women often confide in the people in their lives and the systems they interact with about the abuse they are experiencing. Minnesota women murdered in 2017 confided in family members, friends, and colleagues about the abuse and their attempts to leave. They shared information with criminal justice system professionals, health care providers, family court, employers and government agencies. As a community, we must educate ourselves about existing resources for victims such as voluntary and confidential services through domestic violence programs that can safely plan and assist victims. + If you want to help fight DV, please join the Domestic Violence Awareness and action Group here at St. Joe’s. We educate and take actions to move toward zero tolerance for domestic abuse. 

If you want to help fight DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard at 612-247-4428 or susanrivard5873@gmail.com) or Jane Warren  at763-494-5528 or janewarren1@gmail.com for more information. 

From Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women 2017 Femicide Report.