Domestic Violence Awareness & Action

Domestic Violence is a pattern of behaving where one person in a relationship uses power and control over his partner (95% of abusers are male).
Children are also used in domestic violence by the abuser as a tactic to gain power and control.
What does it mean to “witness domestic violence”?  When children observe their mothers being:  shoved, punched, kicked, slapped, pulled by the hair.  When children witness their mothers being emotionally abused by:  put downs, threats, name calling, being sworn at.
Children living with domestic violence feel:  
Powerless
Guilty
Angry
Confused
Afraid
Isolated
Anxious
Ashamed
HOPELESS
During this pandemic there has been a huge increase in domestic violence as people are confined in homes and are more isolated than normal.  So more innocent children are being exposed to violence, along with many changes in their schooling and socializing.
Children deserve safe and healthy homes.  If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship please seek out help and support.
Our group, Domestic Violence Awareness and Action, wants those who are suffering domestic violence to know that there is help available.
Our local shelter is Home Free is Plymouth-763-559-4945.
The hotline in Minnesota is Day One-866-223-1111.
The national hotline-800-799-7233
Domestic Violence Awareness and Action will resume meeting when it is safe.  Please consider joining us at that time.  You can contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com for more information.

Americans have been asked to stay home in an effort to slow the spread of COVID 19.  While this might not seem like too much to ask, for victims of domestic violence it is extremely dangerous. 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline says there were few reports of domestic violence when the lockdown started.  They believe that is because it’s more difficult for victims to report abuse because their abusers are always around. 

Here’s how COVID-19 could uniquely impact victims:

• Abusers are forcing their victims to wash their hands until they bleed.  
• They may withhold hand sanitizer or disinfectants.
• They may threaten to kick a victim out so that they would be exposed to the virus.
• They may use the outbreak to control victims and close off access to family and friends.
• They may give victims misinformation about the pandemic to control or frighten survivors.  
• The may withhold insurance cards or threaten to cancel insurance.      

Fear of getting COVID-19 may keep victims from seeking the medical treatment they need or going to a shelter for help.  

Help is still available – through shelters, hotlines, therapists and counselors.  These are available by phone and on line.   

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7. For any victims and survivors who need support, call 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 for TTY 

If you’re unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 22522. 

Locally contact the Home Free Community Program hotline (24/7) at 763-559-4945. The  Home Free Community Program serves women and men who have been victims of domestic assault in the cities of Plymouth, New Hope, Champlain and eleven municipalities in northwest Hennepin County.  

You are not alone. 

Please join the Domestic Violence Awareness Action group.  You can make a difference by being educated about domestic violence and by taking actions to work toward zero tolerance for domestic abuse. Please contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com or 763.494.5528 or Susan Rivard at susanrivard5873@gmail.com or 612.247.4428. 

In 2015 the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops approved the document Create in Me a Clean Heart: A Pastoral Response to Pornography. In this document, they say that in the confessional and in their daily ministry and work with families they have seen the corrosive damage caused by pornography.
In his 2014 Lenten message, Pope Francis noted “how much pain is caused in families because one of their members, often a young person, is in the thrall to alcohol, drugs, gambling or pornography.”
Porn use has direct connections with sins such as domestic violence and sex trafficking.
Pornography is a huge business generating billions of dollars in revenue each year. This industry is aggressive, savvy, little regulated, instantly accessible, anonymous and mostly free. And it has devastating effects on many women and men.
The internet and mobile technology present dramatic differences between porn in past decades and now. Young people are immersed in media and the internet and often are savvier at navigating this world than their parents. Data indicates that children exposed to pornography are more likely to sexually harass or molest other children, imitating behavior they have seen.
It’s time to recognize the links between pornography and domestic violence in order to provide better services to victims and develop prevention programs that make abuse and exploitation intolerable in our culture.
If you would like to be a part of the Domestic Violence Awareness and Action Group here at St. Joe's, we meet on the first Tuesday of every month in the SJTW library from 7:00-8:30. We educate and take actions to move toward zero tolerance for domestic abuse. Contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com or Susan Rivard at susanrivard5873@gmail.com.

How to Recognize Emotional Abuse – Questions That Help Identity This Type of Domestic Violence
It’s a myth that without bruises, cuts, broken bones or a black eye, it’s not really abuse. But being controlled, feeling scared or being forcefully isolated are just some of the markers of emotional abuse, a very real and prevalent type of intimate partner violence. 
Emotional abusers prey on a victim’s self-esteem, and emotional abuse is often a precursor to physical abuse. But emotional abuse can also exist on its own, meaning you may be abused and never have a visible injury to show for it. 
To identify if what you’re experiencing is emotional abuse, ask yourself these questions:
Does your partner ….Put you down, embarrass or shame you? Call you names? Ignore you? Demand to know where you are every minute? Treat you as inferior? Embarrass you, often in front of others? Not allow you to make decisions? Threaten you, your children, your family or your pets? Tell you that you’re crazy? Belittle your accomplishments or aspirations? Forbid you from talking to or seeing your friends, family or coworkers? Keep you from sleeping? Accuse you of cheating? Cheat on you and then blame you for that? Tell you that you will never find anyone better? Repeatedly point out your mistakes? Control what you wear?
Emotional abuse does not magically go away over time, and people experiencing it should think of it in the same way as physical abuse. It tends to get worse if left unaddressed and, just like physical violence, the effects of emotional abuse can last a lifetime and impact your health.  
If you are being abused, call Home Free’s crisis line at 763-559-4945 to speak to an advocate. There is help available.

WHAT CAN I GO TO HELP FIGHT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Everyone thinks this is a police issue or social service, but it actually involves all of us. Domestic Violence occurs across the spectrum of society. It is not just something that happens in the ghetto.
One of the first things we can all do is PRAY for the victims of DV and their dependents. The majority of cases involve women both the educated and the poorly educated and their children but there are some cases of women abusing their male partner. Five percent of abuse victims are men.
Domestic violence happens to those with minimal education and those with a PHD, the blue collar and white collar family, wealthy and those struggling financially. We need to be aware that it can happen to someone in our family, a neighbor or a friend.
Being aware of the signs of problem behavior is needed . Some of the red flags are reclusiveness of one partner, with minimal means of communication with friends or family such as no cell phone or vehicle. Or the victim always has to check in with his/her partner and is on a tight schedule to get home. The victim will often make excuses for not coming to family affairs or having to leave early. Frequent changes of address should be another alerting sign
Of course there ARE the usual bruises but many times the emotional abuse is not openly apparent. Personality changes such as going from happy to worried demeanor of the victim should spark suspicion.
If you do suspect someone is in an abusive situation never force assistance but rather try to let the victim know you are there if they need anything. If possible give them emergency contact information such as safe shelters. Do not be obvious or the victim may suffer after talking to you.
Keep yourself informed on domestic violence and know that it is a problem in every country not just the improvished and be available if someone seeks your advice.
The best way to get fast help is always to remember 911.
Home Free in Plymouth is the closest shelter to our area and the phone number there is 763 545 7080.
The DVAA (Domestic Violence Awareness and Action) group are very active at St Joseph the Worker. We are trying to get the community informed and work with local police and community leaders to get this information out to the public.
Please join DVAA. We meet the first Tuesday of every month at 7:00 PM in the library. If you have questions please contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com or Susan Rivard at susanrivard5873@gmail.com.
 

When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence Against Women

When I Call for Help, originally written in 1992 and revised in 2002, is a firm statement by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) that violence in any shape or form is directly against the Church’s teaching of honoring the dignity of every human person, which is a bedrock principle of Catholic Social Teaching. Within this brief response by the bishops is one particularly important statement for every person to consider, “religion can be either a resource or a roadblock for abused women.” Take a moment today and consider how you as a person of faith might be a resource to someone who is in an abusive relationship.

St. Joseph the Worker has an active group, Domestic Violence Awareness and Action (DVAA) that strives to be this kind of resource to our local community. If you are passionate about raising awareness for domestic violence and advocating for safe and healthy relationships, please consider joining this group at one of their meetings. For more information, contact alex@SJTW.net

When I Call for Help is available for free on the USCCB website, but in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, SJTW will order a physical copy of the document in pamphlet form on your behalf. Please contact Director of Social Justice, Alex Blechle, at alex@SJTW.net if you would like one.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE PURPLE

Purple is the signatory color of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which is recognized in October. Why is the color purple used as the signatory color for domestic violence? In the United States military, the Purple Heart is presented to those who have been wounded while serving. For survivors of domestic violence, who may also be wounded both physically and emotionally, the color is meant to be a symbol of peace, courage, survival, honor and dedication to ending violence.

At St. Joseph the Worker we are shining the spotlight on this issue in several ways using the color purple: Purple lights in the sanctuary that will be lit at night, purple candles in the worship space, and purple in the displays in the Gathering Space and on the wall going into the Worship Space.

Also please note the purple lights in Maple Grove! Members of the SJTW’s DVAA (Domestic Violence Awareness and Action) asked the city to “light up purple” two years ago. Since then, every night each October, purple lights are lit at the Town Green and on the trees in front of the Maple Grove Police Department. Other cities/entities – Ramsey, Brooklyn Park, the Anoka County Sheriff’s Office and Crystal – now also have purple lights, thanks to DVAA members.

We strongly encourage everyone to BREAK THE SILENCE on domestic violence and view the purple lights in October as an encouraging, yet unspoken, message of help, hope and healing.

Please join DVAA. We meet the first Tuesday of every month at 7:00 PM in the library. If you have questions please contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com or Susan Rivard at susanrivard5873@gmail.com.

 

Domestic Violence Awareness Month Media Campaign Resources – Downloads

2019 DVAA Bulletin Design (compressed folder, 6 files)
2019 DVAA Stats 8.5x11 Flyers (compressed folder, 13 files)
2019 DVAA Stats Social Media (compressed folder, 13 files)
2019 DVAA Stories 11x17 Posters (compressed folder, 8 files)
2019 DVAA Stories Social Media (compressed folder, 10 files)
DVAA 828x315 Facebook Cover
DVAA 1024x512 Tweet
DVAA 1920x1080 Projection Slide
DVAA Email banner 1100x550
DVAA Web banner 1100x550
DVAA Web banner 1920x550

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. 
Show your support for Domestic Violence Awareness
Help build awareness and show your support by placing a yard sign at your home or business.
Stop by the Welcome Desk in the Gathering Space, the parish Office or find them in St. Joseph Hall. A suggested donation of $10 would help cover sign printing costs.



 

Help lines for those being abused

Home Free Shelter, Crisis Line 763-559-4945
www.missionsinc.org/programs/home-free

DAY ONE MN DV Crisis Line Call 866-223-1111
or text 612.399.9995. www.dayoneservices.org

Answered by the shelter that is closest to the caller.

National DV Hot Line Call 800-799-SAFE/7233
or go to www.thehotline.org to chat with a trained Crisis Counselor.
Information for all states. Open 24/7 every day, this is a resource for safety information and can connect any caller with shelters and protection advocates in her area.

National Dating Abuse Help Line 866-331-9474 
website: loveisrespect.org

Violence is words and actions that hurt people. Violence is the abusive or unjust exercise of power, intimidation, harassment and/or the threatened or actual use of force which results in or has a high likelihood of causing hurt, fear, injury, suffering or death.
Are you in an abusive relationship? You may be if you have ever been threatened, kicked, shoved or had things thrown at you. You may be if you feel you have no choice about what you wear, what you say, or who you spend time with or where you go. You may be if you need your partner’s permission before buying food or clothing, writing checks or making other daily decisions.
Domestic Violence is always wrong!! This is not a women’s issue. This is not a feminist issue. This is an individual human rights AND moral issue.
If you would like to be a part of the Domestic Violence Awareness and Action Group here at St. Joe's, we meet on the first Tuesday of every month in the SJTW library from 7:00-8:30. We educate and take actions to move toward zero tolerance for domestic abuse. Contact Jane Warren at janewarren1@gmail.com or 763.494.5528 or Susan Rivard at susanrivard5873@gmail.com or 612.247.4428.

SUMMER AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

For most of us living in Minnesota we look forward a great deal to the coming of summer, after long months of cold, snow, ice, and wind. We enjoy being able to go outside in shorts and T-shirts and flip flops. We spend time at the lakes and parks and on our decks and patios lying in the sun and relaxing.

For victims of domestic violence this is not a picture of their summers. The victims come to dread the hot season: The stress in their homes goes up with children home, there are more parties with increased alcohol use, and the heat can raise tempers for family members.

Summer is a transition time when people are deciding on where they want to be when school starts. If the victim wants to leave a marriage or relationship she/he will often do it in the summer so that they will be settled before school begins. But victims are always at higher risk of violence- and even murder- when they tell their abuser they want a divorce.

• Teen violence also goes up in the summer as teens have more idle time and may be partying more than during the school year.
• All families should be able to look forward to warm summers, relaxation and fun.
• Domestic Abuse is never ok and we must all take a position of ZERO TOLERANCE for violence.

Please consider joining the Domestic Violence Awareness and Action Group here at SJTW. We meet on the first Tuesday of every month, at 7:00 p.m. in the library. Our group is ecumenical and we welcome people from all religious affiliations. 

The Link Between Domestic Violence and Mass Shootings
Domestic violence is far more prevalent in our society than mass shootings. While the majority of domestic abusers don’t go on to commit mass shootings, they are more likely than non-abusers to resort to deadly violence. In fact, researchers have identified certain behaviors – including strangling, stalking and death threats – that are red flags and key warning signs that a domestic abuser is likely to kill in the future, and some of those homicides could involve other people and not just their partner. From 2015 to early November 2017, there were 46 mass shootings in the US, with a mass shootings defined as an incident in which four or more people were shot and killed, not including the gunman. According to data collected by Everytown for Gun Safety, in 27 of those cases, or about 59 percent, the perpetrator killed an intimate partner or family member during the massacre or had a history of domestic violence. (Jelston 2017, Campbell 2018) This bears repeating: The majority of mass shootings in the US involve an intimate partner being killed by their abuser, along with other people. Intimate partner homicide is the very definition of domestic violence. Over half of the mass shootings in America, then, are related to domestic violence in some way. As terrible as domestic violence is, taking this larger perspective makes it clear that the ravages and damage from the crime of abuse is even deeper and broader than is commonly known. If you want to help fight DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard 612-247-4428 or susanrivard5873@gmail.com or Jane Warren 763-494-5528 or janewarren1@gmail.com for more information

THE IMPACT ON CHILDREN LIVING WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Children react in a variety of ways and adopt various coping skills to survive when they are living in a home with domestic abuse. Physical signs of stress in children can include sleep problems and frequent illnesses. Behavioral signs can include low self-esteem, running away and bullying others. Children in an abusive home can “learn” to use violence as a way to solve problems. Between 3.3 and 10 million American children witness domestic violence annually. Children living with domestic violence often feel guilty, angry, confused, afraid, isolated, ashamed and hopeless. There are never excuses for being abusive. It is always wrong. Violence is a learned behavior. It can be unlearned. Help break the cycle. If you would like to be a part of the Domestic Violence Awareness and Action Group here at St. Joe's, we meet on the first Tuesday of every month in the SJTW library from 7:00-8:30. We educate and take actions to move toward zero tolerance for domestic abuse. Contact Jane Warren or 763-494-5528 or Susan Rivard or 612-247-4428.

DATING THAT BECOMES HURTFUL

Far too many teens are hurt in abusive and exploitive relationships, sometimes with life-long consequences.
Here are some signs of an abusive relationship:
1. The abusive partner is very controlling about what their partner does and who they do it with. Abusive partners usually show a lot of jealousy or possessiveness.
2. Abusive partners have short tempers.
3. Abusive partners will often belittle or put down their partners.
4. Abusive relationships don’t start with a black eye on the first date. Abuse is much more subtle. There is a lot of emotional abuse that occurs before the first slap, push or grab.

If teens disclose abuse, believe them. Make sure they know that abuse is not their fault.

If you or someone you know is being abused there are resources that can help.
 

COMMON MYTHS ABOUT DOMESTIC ABUSE
Domestic abuse is not caused by mental illness. Personality disorders, poor impulse control or a mental illness diagnosis do not cause DV. When a particular mental illness causes a person to become violent, the violence is not usually specifically targeted at one person. When DV happens, it is targeted at a specific victim.
Domestic abuse is not caused by genetics. Someone’s DNA or a genetic abnormality does not “make” someone abuse another person.

Domestic abuse is not caused by alcohol and drugs. Perpetrators, and many battered women, sometimes blame domestic abuse on alcohol and drugs. While these chemicals can exacerbate the abuse that occurs, they do not cause it. Addiction and abuse require two different kinds of intervention.

Domestic abuse is not caused by out-of-control behavior. Abusive behavior is an abuser’s conscious choice, a choice that is made to reach a goal: power and control over the victim.

Domestic abuse is not caused by anger. We all get angry from time to time, but perpetrators of abuse use anger to assert power and maintain control. They direct their anger at one person (the victim) at a time and place of their choosing, and they are often quite calm and “reasonable” when explaining the incident to law enforcement.

Domestic abuse is not caused by victim behavior. Batterers strongly defend their abuse by denying, minimizing, justifying and rationalizing their behavior, often saying they wouldn’t be abusive if the victim behaved differently. Nothing a victim does causes another person to be violent; violence and abuse are a choice of the abuser.

If you want to help fight DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard at 612-247-4428 or susanrivard5873@gmail.com or Jane Warren  at 763-494-5528 for more information.

DVAA’S MISSION AND VISION STATEMENT

Domestic Violence Awareness and Action’s mission is to work within faith communities and the community at large to raise awareness about and promote zero tolerance for domestic abuse.

To fulfill this mission, DVAA’s actions are: · To educate about domestic abuse, including dating abuse · To support domestic abuse programs in the community · To organize community events honoring victims and survivors of abuse · To mentor domestic abuse ministries in faith communities · To transform environments of faith communities, so worship spaces send a message of support and safety for victims of abuse.

DVAA’s vision is healthy relationships and peaceful, safe environments in our homes, churches, and communities.
 

SEE THE PURPLE, KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and purple is the signatory hue.

Why purple? In the United States military, the Purple Heart is presented to those who have been wounded while serving. For survivors of domestic violence, who may also be wounded both physically and emotionally, the color is meant to be a symbol of peace, courage, survival, honor and dedication to ending violence.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month was first observed in 1981 as a national day of unity. It was established by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence to ensure that victims know help is available if they need it. So when you see purple in October, it is more than just a color. It is a statement.
 

ABUSE HELP LINES
Home Free Shelter, Crisis Line 763-559-4945
DAY ONE MN DV Crisis Line 866-223-1111 (answered by different shelters each week)
National DV Hot Line 800-799-SAFE/7233 (have information for all states)
National Dating Abuse Help Line 866-331-9474 (website: loveisrespect.org)
Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women 888-743-5754 or 888.7HELPLINE, or www.dahmw.org

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RISK ASSESSMENT GUIDE
The presence of the following factors can indicate an elevated risk of serious injury or lethality in an abusive relationship. The absence of these factors is not, however, evidence of the absence of risk or lethality. It is impossible to predict with certainty which batterers will become lethal to their victims, and all batterers should be viewed as potentially deadly. These factors, however, raise red flags that should not be ignored. 
1. Does the victim believe that the abuser will re-assault or attempt to kill her/him?
2. Has the victim tried to leave the abuser?
3. Has the abuser ever threatened to or tried to kill the victim?
4. Has the abuser ever attempted to strangle or choke the victim?
5. Does the abuser have access to a firearm, or is there a firearm in the home?
6. Has the abuser ever used or threatened to use a weapon against the victim?
7. Has the physical violence increased in frequency or severity over the past year?
8. Does the abuser try to control most or all of the victim’s daily activities?
9. Is the abuser constantly or violently jealous?
10. Has the abuser ever threatened or tried to commit suicide?
11. Are there any pending or prior Orders for Protection, criminal or civil cases involving the abuser? 

Always listen to the victim: If she/he feels “in their gut” that the situation is dangerous, contact a battered women’s shelter. 
 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: WARNING SIGNS OF ABUSE IN OTHERS 
People who are being abused may
• Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner
• Go along with everything their partner says and does
• Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing
• Receive frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner
• Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy, or possessiveness

People who are being physically abused may
• Have frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents”
• Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation
• Dress in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (e.g. wearing long sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors)

People who are being isolated by their abuser may
• Be restricted from seeing family and friends
• Rarely go out in public without their partner
• Have limited access to money, credit cards or the car 

People who are being abused may
• Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident
• Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn)
• Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal

If you want to help break the around silence DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard (612-247-4428) or Jane Warren (763-494-5528) for more information. 

ANYONE Can Be A Victim of Domestic Violence
Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence. There is no “typical” victim, victims of DV come from all walks of life, all age groups, all backgrounds, all communities, all education levels, all economic levels, all cultures, all ethnicities, all religions, all abilities, and all lifestyles. They can be men or women. Victims of domestic violence do not bring violence upon themselves and do not always lack self- confidence. Throw away the stereotypes and recognize the frightening reality that domestic violence is everywhere and can affect anyone. Violence in relationships occurs when one person feels entitled to exert power and control over their partner and chooses to use physical or verbal abuse to gain and maintain that control.
 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOMICIDES IN MINNESOTA
In 2017, 19 Minnesota women died from domestic violence homicides. It has been observed that women often confide in the people in their lives and the systems they interact with about the abuse they are experiencing. Minnesota women murdered in 2017 confided in family members, friends, and colleagues about the abuse and their attempts to leave. They shared information with criminal justice system professionals, health care providers, family court, employers and government agencies. As a community, we must educate ourselves about existing resources for victims such as voluntary and confidential services through domestic violence programs that can safely plan and assist victims. + If you want to help fight DV, please join the Domestic Violence Awareness and action Group here at St. Joe’s. We educate and take actions to move toward zero tolerance for domestic abuse. 

If you want to help fight DV, please join DVAA. Contact Susan Rivard at 612-247-4428 or susanrivard5873@gmail.com) or Jane Warren  at763-494-5528 or janewarren1@gmail.com for more information. 

From Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women 2017 Femicide Report.

Vigil at Plymouth intersection honors domestic abuse victim